The 5 Things You Need To Do Right Now To Make Sure You’re Valuing Yourself And Role Modelling To Your Child For Their Future Happiness

Your Happiness Is Valuable – Are You Making The Most Of That?

You are aware that we only have so much time in this gift called Life right?

Are you wasting your time not being happy, only worrying about making others happy instead?

…Or are you making the most of your own happiness?

You do know your happiness is valuable right? I certainly hope so.

If you’re anything like me, then you’ve been undermining the value of your own happiness here on Earth. It is so easy to forget that we are each of us important. Just as important as those who we look up to…and yet, we tend to treat our mentors and loved ones better than we treat ourselves.

Are you guilty of this? Is your child?

Just like every other life skill, we are role modelling to our children how they are expected to treat themselves. When we put ourselves last…we cannot be surprised when our kids grow up and end up putting themselves last too!

If you were raised like I was, then you were probably taught to always put others interests ahead of your own….and that’s a very nice idea…but it has some very BAD outcomes!

Now, I’m not talking about being selfish, about always thinking of our own needs and wants first before anyone else, or about forgetting the needs and wants of others…

…what I’m saying here, is that we forget to take care of ourselves and that is NOT a healthy role model for our kiddos.

Can you remember the last time you skipped something important to you just so you would make sure that something that was important to someone else got taken care of instead?

Why did you do it?

Because you didn’t feel your wants or needs were as important as theirs?

No, that’s probably NOT what your intentions were. You weren’t trying to put yourself down, belittling yourself for their benefit….nope…most likely you just felt a deep desire to please them.

That’s usually what it boils down to. We put others first because we ultimately want them to be happy with us.

Can you see the irony of that?

We want them to be happy with us in order for ourselves to be happy.

Talk about going the long way round the bend. Why not just skip right to ‘be happy with ourselves’ and guess what?

When we are happy with ourselves…the side effect is that we actually end up making those who we wish to please…happy! Just by being happy ourselves!

Think about it.

Do you like being around unhappy people? Stressed people?

NOPE. I would bet anything that you would probably try your best to AVOID that right?

Well, when we put ourselves LAST, guess what?

We BECOME those unhappy, stressed people and you know what that means?

YUP, you guessed it! The people we want so desperately probably would do anything to avoid being around our negative energy.

Okay, so that didn’t work! YIKES!!!

But won’t people think we’re awfully selfish if we think about our own needs and wants before theirs?


But MOST LIKELY they won’t. Why?

Because, let’s be honest here…who do you think about most often?

Yup! You guessed it. YOU!

And that’s a GOOD thing, a VERY GOOD thing….because that also means that THEY think about THEMSELVES most of the time…

….which means that they probably don’t even spend much time at all thinking about us!

I heard a saying once that I love to live by. I can’t remember who said it though, sorry about that.

It’s this:

“What you think about me is none of my business. What I think about you is none of your business.”

It’s SOOOO true!

We are ALL of us ALLOWED to think whatever we want to think. That’s the gift we got when we were given our own minds. We can think about whatever we want to. And it’s all our own. Our thoughts are NOT the property of anyone else.

Which also means, that what others are thinking is NOT our business. They are allowed to think whatever they want to think and it’s not our job to think for them.

Do you understand what that means?

It means FREEDOM is yours!

You can now, let others worry about themselves, and be free to be the best role model you can be. Love yourself, think of yourself, your needs, your wants first. Take good care of yourself…make yourself HAPPY….TRULY HAPPY…and the rest falls beautifully in place.

Let me give you some examples that you can use:

Eat your cake!

You are allowed to take the largest piece of cake! YUP, that’s right, you are! You are also allowed to give that biggest piece of cake to someone else because it feels good. When you do that you are still feeding what is best for you…that good feeling you get for giving that bigger piece away will feel MUCH better than the extra calories probably would have anyway right?

The point here is that you are absolutely allowed to do either scenario. There is NO right or wrong here.

Think about it. If you took the larger piece on purpose to hurt someone else…then that would give you a bad feeling…so no reward for you. But if you take it simply because you would enjoy it and you have no bad feelings of intention for anyone else, then they will also be just as happy with a slightly smaller piece, and will most likely not even notice you took the bigger one!

We are all so concerned about what others think about us, but in reality the others don’t actually think much about you anyway, they are too busy thinking about themselves and worrying about what others are thinking about them!

Be FREE! Get yourself out of the cycle.

Then you will raise kids who become happy self-fulfilled adults who are not reliant on the happiness of others to make themselves happy but just enjoy making others happy because they already feel tremendous joy themselves and wish to share that wonderful feeling with others.


Do These 5 Things Right Now:

  1. Make your own “Bucket List” – what things would you like to do while you’re still here on this Earth?
  1. Schedule a “Self Date” – once a week, set a time for yourself to do something that makes you happy. Read a book, take a bath, go on a nature walk, enjoy a cup of tea. Anything at all that just makes you happy.
  1. Create a “Vision Board” of what you want your life to look like in 5 years, use pictures and phrases that represent your dreams and stick them on a board, a mirror, a window, where you will see them many times a day to remind you of what it’s like to live now in this ‘dream’ life.I like to create a moving vision board of my dream life, that I watch first thing in the morning when I wake up and last thing at night before I go to sleep to keep my mind on track to realizing my goals. (I use the mindmovies software that you can get here:
  1. Value Your Time! Whenever you can, make sure you value your time. Your time is worth money. Do you realize that? If you have a job, you are most likely getting paid by the hour right? Well, who’s hour is that? It’s YOURS! Your hour that you are being paid money for. That means your hour has value. You have value. Monetary value!To remind myself that my time matters, that my time has monetary value, I like to find tools that physically remind me that I matter. For example: Instead of just searching the internet with a search engine like Google (which is for sure a great search engine), I like to use one that pays me for my searches instead! YUP! There are actually search engines that do that!You know how when you search on Google, you will see Ads come up right? Well, Google is getting paid for those, but YOU’RE NOT! You are using your time to search the internet and someone else is getting paid for your time! Totally not fair right!Well, that’s why I like to use search engines that recognize that my time is valuable and share the Ad revenue with me, by giving me points for my searches that then over time I can cash in for gifts. I usually choose a Paypal gift card…since I like to have the cash and buy my own treats later. This is the search engine that I prefer to use and have earned the most from: (Yes, that’s my referral link.  When you sign up to use them for free, you’ll get one too. Not only do they pay you in points for your own searches but they pay you in points for the searches of those you refer, which costs your referrals nothing! Win-win-win!!! I love those!)

    You don’t have to use them of course if you don’t want to. I just wanted you to be aware that there are many, many different ways you can remind yourself of your own worth, your own value.


  2. Be Your Child’s Role Model! Simply, take some time for yourself, make sure that you realize that you matter, that your time has value, and then you will automatically be an amazing role model for your child. It really is that simple. Treat yourself poorly and your child will treat themselves, and you, poorly, or treat yourself with the respect and love that you honestly deserve and your child will treat themselves, and you, with love and respect.

Did you find this article helpful? If so, would you do me a quick favour and share this article with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. Thank-you for helping me to empower more families. I truly appreciate it. I appreciate YOU!

I would love to know your thoughts. Your thoughts matter! Leave them in the comments below and I will definitely take the time to read them and reply back to you. What did you learn from this article? What steps are you going to take right now to make sure that you matter to you? Let me know in the comments below.

Cheers…Amanda van der Gulik…Excited Life Enthusiast! ;o)

P.S.  Remember to be kind to yourself. You matter. You are valuable. I’m sure you are setting an amazing example to your child already but are you making sure they see you valuing yourself too? Will your child spend the rest of their lives worrying about making others happy or knowing how others will be happy when they are?

P.P.S. I would love to know your thoughts. Your thoughts matter! Leave them in the comments below and I will definitely take the time to read them and reply back to you. What did you learn from this article? What steps are you going to take right now to make sure that you matter to you? Let me know in the comments below. Thank-you.

“Together we can raise kids and teens who are money savvy and get to follow their dreams because they know how to handle and value their money, have a Healthy Wealth Mentality…and WILL NOT come back crawling home to you to get them out of financial trouble!”

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2 Responses to The 5 Things You Need To Do Right Now To Make Sure You’re Valuing Yourself And Role Modelling To Your Child For Their Future Happiness

  1. anna Mintz says:

    As a mom of 3 kids, I learned really quick the value of “Me Time”!
    It’s actually Being SELFLESS NOT SELFISH to care for your self especially if you are the shoulder that one leans on and is the main caregiver in the family.
    My kids know that when my door remains closed in the morning, that they will need to go to their dad for anything they require for the short time that I’m in my room. It is my time to do basic stretches, go on my sonic life machine to tone and get pumped up, do yoga poses or some meditation, ground my self, balance chakras, write in my gratitude journal, detox in sauna etc etc. Any or all of these things are part of my daily start of the day and most beneficial to later be able to offer my family a “Quality Mom” and Wife. I find and they find that I’m more caring, patient, fun, energetic and definately happier.
    The half hour to 45 min investment is worth every minute for all of us.
    I do agree that we should all learn to say No when we are trying to do too much and please others. and have No Guilt in doing so. You can only do what is humanly possible in a day and yes it’s of course a nice thing to come out of your comfort zone and do an extra stretch for those odd and needy situations but on a regular basis, you can’t take on more than you can handle and then regret it later. People would appreciate Quality not Quantity of your service. It’s hard and impossible to please everyone.
    So hopefully this feedback on this great post will help others see how their family will most appreciate them when they are selflessly caring for themselves in order to be the Very Best for others in the long Run !!

    • Amanda says:

      That sounds like a lovely daily ritual to revive yourself to be the best mom you can be for your family! Way to go! And thank-you soooo much for sharing that with us. 😀

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